Let me
ask you a question:
What is "SUCCESS" to you when it comes to women?
If I asked you to give me a detailed explanation of EXACTLY how your
life would be if you had ULTIMATE SUCCESS with women, could you do it?
Sure, most guys would say something like "Success to me would be being
able to walk up to any woman and get a date with her"... or "Success to
me would be dating as many women as I wanted"... or "Success to me would
be having a really sexy girlfriend", etc.
These are the kinds of answers I hear when I ask guys this question. But
there's a PROBLEM with these answers.
NONE OF THEM REALLY MEAN ANYTHING.
If you learn how to approach any woman and get a date, you'll soon find
that you don't know what to DO once you're actually out ON the dates...
how to take things to a physical level, how to kiss her, etc...
If you start dating several women at a time, you'll quickly realize that
it's a MAJOR challenge to juggle all of those relationships and maintain
a happy life...
If you find a really sexy girlfriend, there's a good chance that she'll
have a whole bunch of personal issues and problems that you never
anticipated...
You have to be careful what you wish for in life, because you'll often
get it. I've found that guys usually make TWO major mistakes then it
comes to SUCCESS with women:
1) Most guys haven't really thought through what success means to them
in detail.
2) Most guys base their personal idea of success on what OTHERS want,
and not what THEY want for themselves.
In fact, I was one of the guys that made BOTH of these mistakes. I can
remember when I first decided to ONCE AND FOR ALL learn how to be
"successful" with women. I had this idea in my mind that if I could just
learn how to get women's phone numbers quickly and easily that I would
be successful beyond my wildest dreams.
So I went to work on figuring it out.
I probably spent a good six or twelve months trying all kinds of
different tricks to get women's phone numbers quickly. And I figured out
some great techniques.
I can literally get a woman's number within a few minutes of meeting
her. But once I learned this skill, I was hit with a MAJOR realization:
Most of the women I was meeting never turned into DATES.
They either didn't return my calls, refused my requests, or just plain
flaked out on me.
It was VERY frustrating.
The other problem I had was looking around at what OTHER guys were doing
and saying "I want to be able to do what HE does..." or "I want to date
the kinds of women HE dates".
And I secretly had this idea that if I knew how to date HOT women that
all my friends would like me more and think I was a really cool guy.
Well guess what?
First of all, just because another guy is doing something doesn't mean
that it would make ME happy. In fact, I realized that in many cases it
wasn't even making HIM happy. I couldn't help comparing my success and
the women I was dating with other guys, and the women they were dating.
But it was a trap.
The more a person looks at what OTHERS are doing and focusing on that,
the less satisfied they are with what THEY are doing themselves. And as
far as other guys thinking I was "cool" because I was dating beautiful
women... WRONG AGAIN.
Guys (even friends) usually envy you and resent the fact that you have
success and they don't. Especially when it comes to really beautiful
women. So much for those losing strategies.
SO WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
Well, it's taken me a few years to really put all the puzzle pieces
together and figure out how to resolve these issues.
Here's what I've come up
with:
1) REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT SUCCESS MEANS TO YOU IN DETAIL, AND WRITE IT
DOWN.
Take the time (even if it takes days or weeks...
or longer) and think through what you want for yourself.
Do a little "self examination" (no, not down there), and be honest with
yourself. See if you can figure out where your idea of what "success" is
came from.
Did it come from watching movies?
Did it come from guys you know?
Where did you get your model of what "success with women" is?
Once you've figured out where some of your ideas came from, then think
about what you want. Think about your life and your lifestyle. Instead
of looking at Playboy and thinking to yourself "I'd sure like to have
seven blonde girlfriends in my bed", try thinking about what would make
you HAPPY on an ongoing basis.
Take some time to write down the things you like in a woman. Write down
what you DON'T like. Get a clear picture in your mind of how you'd like
your life to be, and what kind of success with women would make your
life more enjoyable.
After researching this topic for a few years now, I've come to the
opinion that most guys (80%-90%) actually want to have a great long-term
relationship with a fantastic woman.
Sure, some guys want to date around and sleep with a lot of women, but
the majority of guys would really like to meet an exceptional woman and
share a great connection... long term.
But guess what?
You're not going to walk outside after you're finished reading this and find
that particular woman waiting on the corner for you. In fact, you're
probably not going to meet her anytime soon.
If you want to find a REALLY exceptional woman that is beautiful,
intelligent, funny, emotionally stable, financially independent, loving,
etc. then you're probably going to have to date QUITE A FEW women in order
to FIND her.
And when you DO find her, you can bet your ass that she's IN DEMAND. She
probably has MANY guys who are interested in her on an ongoing basis, and
she KNOWS that she has options.
TRANSLATION: You'd better have your sh** together when you do meet her, and
you'd better not be acting like an idiot.
So think through what success means, what you want, what you don't want, and
how you'd like your life to look ideally when it comes to women and dating.
2) LEARN THE RARE SKILL OF MAKING WOMEN FEEL THE MAGICAL EMOTION CALLED
ATTRACTION.
I have spent a long time now searching for the secrets of how ATTRACTION
works. You'd probably guess that something as IMPORTANT and as POWERFUL as
ATTRACTION would be well-researched and widely written about.
Well guess what?
I can't find even ONE good book, audio tape series, seminar or website that
describes it.
NOT EVEN ONE.
I've read all kinds of "opinions" on attraction, but when I really compare
what I read and hear to my own personal knowledge and experience, I always
shake my head and say to myself "No, that's not right".
The point is that I think that success in this area of life basically ALL
comes down to understanding ATTRACTION.
I'm not talking about being "physically attractive", I'm talking about the
EMOTION of ATTRACTION. If a woman feels ATTRACTION for a man, then nothing
else matters.
His looks don't matter, his income doesn't matter, his age doesn't matter...
nothing matters.
On the other hand, if a woman DOESN'T feel ATTRACTION for a man, then
nothing else matters!
His looks, income, age, etc. just don't matter. Nothing he can do can make
her feel that emotion.
Sure, a woman can "fall for" a guy over time. But in these rare cases it's
not because of ATTRACTION. It's because she starts to feel an AFFECTION for
him, and settles for a long-term relationship. Incidentally, this usually
involves a man who pursues a woman, buys her gifts and dinners, behaves in a
way that puts her value above his, etc. And, incidentally, it usually
involves a woman who feels like she's SETTLING.
BUT, if you know how to make a woman feel that amazing and unique emotion
called ATTRACTION, then you will be in control of your dating success... and
YOU can decide on and control what happens to you.
A man who has his life together and actually understands how to make a woman
feel ATTRACTION is FAR more rare than a beautiful woman.
Think about that.
An exceptional man who understands ATTRACTION is FAR more rare, valuable,
and desirable than even the most BEAUTIFUL woman.
If you don't believe me, then ASK some beautiful women how many men like
this they've known in their lifetimes.
They'll count them all on one hand.
You'll see.
And the best part, in my personal opinion, is that it doesn't take any
unusual talents, physical attributes, or large sums of money to learn these
skills.
All it takes is an understanding of how ATTRACTION works, a desire to learn
it, and the discipline to learn, practice, and improve over time.
What's a good way to get started?
Well, you're doing it.
I think that reading these articles is one of the best ways to get a handle
on how to make women feel ATTRACTION.
What's an even BETTER way?
As far as I'm concerned, the very BEST way you can learn how to make women
feel the emotion of ATTRACTION (and more importantly, feel it for YOU) is to
read my Double Your Dating Techniques ebook.
This program is the culmination of several YEARS of my personal research,
trial and error, and refining. I've taken knowledge from various fields...
from brain research and psychology to animal behavior and mating patterns...
and combined it with my real-world personal experience of figuring out what
works.
There's no fluff, and no B.S.
One of the most common things I hear about this program is "This material
has completely changed the way I think about women".
I certainly wish that I would have had this program about five years ago...
when I started out. It would have saved me about THREE years, and probably
thousands of hours of wasted time.
It's jam packed with concepts, techniques, and specific step-by-step
strategies for meeting and dating women. It's the foundation for all the
other things I teach, and it's fast and easy to download and read. Just go
to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the
three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have
read the book.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
Free weekly
advice newsletter Sign up here
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
(c) 2004-2008 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional
advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless. http://www.doubleyourdating.com
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