OPENING LINES. Use your
username... don't be Bob3456... be PaintBallPrincess or SecretSuperHero or
something else that reflects your sense of humor and yourself. If the ad
allows you a "subject line" also use that well... "Need woman in Atlanta"
doesn't cut it. "Atlanta man on a mission" sounds more interesting.
"Atlanta Knight seeks his Queen" tells a different story about who you are
seeking. Use your username and subject line to hook people into your ad.
Use humor, drama, a funky metaphor. Then, like any good ad, you want to
show them you are what they need, show them why you are unique, and invite
them to take action... by emailing you!
DETAILS. Write in complete sentences. Spelling and grammar DO count. We
have modern tools to help with that. You want to look like you find this
task important enough to spell out the words. Unless you are 15 years old,
writing "If u r inrested n me, wrt 2 me" makes you LOOK 15 years old. ALL
CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING... don't. It is actually harder to read.
HONESTY. If you are not honest with yourself and others, you will not find
happiness in the personals. Are you married? You know, people CAN figure
that out and will resent the lie more than the wedding ring. Without
making any value judgements, putting down "married" will not necessarily
stop you from finding matches. If you are just looking for a casual date,
don't imply that you are looking for marriage just to get more email... it
wastes everyone's time. If you are looking for a long-term thing, don't
think you can "convince" a casual date to spend more time with you. You
are asking for disappointment. Try completing this sentence: "In a year,
I'd like to see us doing...."
STRINGS. Guys, I see many you making a crucial mistake in your profiles.
You will find that women are seldom looking for a "no strings
relationship." There simply is no such thing... if it is a relationship,
it has strings of SOME sort. If you don't want strings, you are looking
for an escort service. Women of any description can find casual physical
relationships without lifting a finger to a keyboard. Don't lie, but think
about which "strings" are okay with you. "Seeking Torrid Summer Romance"
is fine and honest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get married. I
want to have a regular date for parties and cookouts with my friends."
Ladies, this counts for you, too. If your personal ad sounds like you
might be offering paid sexual services, you are going to get some rude
offers. You might avoid phrases like, "looking for a wealthy man with good
taste in jewelry."
BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really dated someone just for their eye
color? OK, maybe you have spectacular eyeballs. But ads tend to reel off
personal stats... and then stop there, as though there were nothing but a
body. Most personal sites let you click things to describe your eyes,
hair, and height... don't waste valuable profile space on your hair. Talk
about who you are first, and what you look like at the end. Want to know
the number one thing surveyed women look for in a guy? A sense of humor.
AVOID NEGATIVES. This is not the place to list all the things that drove
you crazy about your ex and how you won't put up with that again. Don't
list what you don't want... discuss what you DO want. Turn your own
lifestyle quirks into positives, not obstacles. Workaholic? Try, "My
career keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexible schedule for
spontaneous one-day adventures." Frugal to a fault? Try "I find it amusing
to squeeze a nickel 'til it screams... help me research for my web column
"CheapDates for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard your children as
an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I hope to find someone
that will enjoy the attention of a warm family circle."
POST A PHOTO. Website statistics show that an ad with a photo is 80% more
likely to get a response. A photo that shows you relaxed and having fun,
no matter what you look like, is even better. Don't use a photo that isn't
current.. it isn't worth looking so insecure, or being rejected later.
Don't rush to ask for a photo... you may look like a "pic trader," someone
who is collecting photos rather than looking for a real date. Don't stress
about your looks... attraction is about more than looks. Yes, we often are
first attracted to someone by looks, when we meet in person. But on the
Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get the chance to meet in
person.
LIFE STAGES. People often say that "age" is not as important as "life
stage." Where are you in your life? Just starting out in a new career?
Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting? Exploring new interests? These
are things that matter. Talk about what is important in your life. "I am
established in my career and now turning my attention to the great books I
never had time to read." "I moved to this state for a job after college,
and I am looking for dates with a lot of outdoors-loving friends to help
me build a sporty new social circle."
FAVORITE THINGS. Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying.. Choose one
good example and talk about why you like it. Choose something that gives
the reader an insight into what you enjoy. You want people to be able to
spot things you have in common, but also feel that there is something new
and interesting to learn about you. Interest them in learning more with a
"teaser" about something fascinating about you. Ask a question for them to
answer in the reply email.
RULES. Never... NEVER include your last name, phone number or address.
Observe the rules of the various websites... some do not allow you to post
web addresses or email addresses. Many prohibit crude language or sexual
references. Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.
So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, take the time to do
a good job, and have a good photo. Those things alone will put you far
ahead of the misspelled anonymous pack. Best of luck!
© Dateable.com LLC 2002
===========================================
Dateable.com is an exciting online community for singles, couples and
romance lovers. Dateable.com has romantic resources, advice, poetry,
greeting cards, and more. Dateable.com also features specialty matchmaking
services. Whether you are looking for a soulmate or a playmate, visit
http://dateable.com
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